


The Simplest Touch

by arkadyevna, RaichuWrites



Category: Gundam SEED, Gundam SEED Destiny
Genre: Angst, M/M, More tags to follow, Post Destiny, Shinn Doesn't Know How To Feel About Anything, drunken antics
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-18
Updated: 2020-06-05
Packaged: 2021-02-12 14:54:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,364
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21478201
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/arkadyevna/pseuds/arkadyevna, https://archiveofourown.org/users/RaichuWrites/pseuds/RaichuWrites
Summary: Kira Yamato was a difficult guy to understand, maybe now more so than before. As he stood by the entrance to his building, he felt that he wouldn't see Kira Yamato again for a long, long time. Shinn wasn't sure he liked that thought, but he couldn't work out why.OR, Shinn Asuka falls slowly, surely and irrevocably for Kira Yamato. This is a problem.
Relationships: Kira Yamato / Shinn Asuka
Comments: 8
Kudos: 34





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to another work in progress guys! 
> 
> Essentially, this is here because there is far too little Gundam SEED content on here. And me, being me, am of the staunch belief that if there isn't enough of something, might as well take a shot at writing some of it yourself!
> 
> You might've also noticed - this is my first official collab piece. It only took me for-fucking-ever to pin my best mate down long enough to edit this chapter...
> 
> Anyway! Hope you guys enjoy reading as much as I had fun writing this out for ya'll.
> 
> Kudos!
> 
> -RaichuWrites
> 
> So, in other news, someone got me writing again. And of course it was Gundam SEED. Watch me making this as difficult as humanly possible for Raichu, as per usual. As long as it took to edit, because I'm an unmotivated, unpredictable and highly picky asshole, I had a lot of fun with this. This is just the beginning, stay tuned. This is gonna be an interesting ride. Enjoy!
> 
> -arkadyevna (Cain)

Before Shinn could open his eyes, he was groaning into his pillow, and reaching up to clutch at his pounding head. He stuffed his face further into the soft, sweet smelling pillow in a vain attempt to hide from the feeble rays of light that have somehow made it through the curtains. He wished he could hide so easily from the lingering strands of last nights’ memories.

They come unbidden in barely-there flashes. A quiet restaurant, Lunamaria waiting nervously at a table. The shreds of the napkin she’d been playing with. The shock he’d felt and the tears in her eyes. Those were the clearest memories. Everything after that was more than a little fuzzy.

He knew he’d somehow coaxed the Jachin veterans to join him at a dive bar. He knew Dearka’d challenged him to a drinking contest while Yzak watched on. Athrun had protested the idea, because of course he had. 

Shinn had never downed so many shots in quick succession before, and it quickly caught up with him. Athrun had been right to worry.

He’d lost his tie at some point, and he could vaguely recall an exasperated,  _ “It’s on your head, Shinn,” _ from Athrun. He remembered swaying drunkenly with Dearka to a thick beat, Yzak’s eye-roll practically audible from the booth. 

He remembered being bundled into a car, curling into the closest warm body. Too drunk and too tired to really think straight. Arms had supported him up a flight of stairs, and into an elevator. He’d pressed a sloppy kiss to the curve of a firm jaw. He thinks he’d been aiming for the cheek.

He’d passed out before his head hit the pillow.

Given how much he’d had to drink, Shinn was surprised he could remember so much of the night. He sure was paying the price for it, pounding skull, throbbing eye sockets and all.

Cautiously, he turned his head to one side, enough that he could cautiously crack an eye open, wary of the morning light. This ... was  _ not _ his bed, unless someone had washed his sheets while he’d been out. The pillow definitely didn’t smell like his. The smell was softer, cleaner. It  _ felt _ softer too. He blinked, cursed, and promptly shut his eye again as pain lanced his skull. 

He tensed at the sound of a door opening. The bedroom door? Quiet footsteps padded across the carpet, and a gentle hand touched his shoulder. 

“Hey, uh, there’s some water and pain killers right here when you’re ready for them, okay? I’ll have breakfast ready soon, too, if you want some of that.”

The voice was painfully familiar, but in his pain addled state Shinn couldn’t quite place it. He nodded into the pillow, listening as his saviour left. Once they were gone, he groped blindly until he found the box of painkillers. He snagged the water bottle by feel alone and quickly downed the painkillers. Then he stuffed his face back into the pillow. He’d wait it out, until his head stopped pounding enough that he felt like he could move again.

When the time finally came, Shinn carefully opened his eyes. When he wasn’t blinded by searing pain, he blinked until his blurry vision cleared, and he could see around the room. 

It was a sleek, modern room, with furnishings to match. The bed was bigger than his own by far, the bedspread colours a monochromatic, angular pattern that he was sure he’d enjoy, if it didn’t make him want to throw up. 

When he noticed the open bathroom door off to his right, he rose sluggishly to cross the room. Definitely not anywhere he knew, none of the Minerva crew had bedrooms with ensuites. 

It was when he looked up, catching his reflection in the mirror over the sink, that he realized he was  _ naked _ . 

He stared at himself in horror. His reflection stared right back, looking horrified. He spun, looking around the room again, squinting in that  _ damned  _ light. There, by the side of the bed, his clothes lay in a heap on the floor. He couldn’t see anyone else’s clothing dumped about, which had him breathing a sigh of relief. He pressed a hand against his pounding heart.

Quickly, he took care of his business, hopping and stumbling to pull his clothes back on as best he could. The button down he’d worn the night before was trashed. He must’ve ripped it open trying to get out of it, because most of the buttons were gone. Well, that was a lost cause. Shinn dragged his boxers and jeans up over his hips, and pulled on the plain black tee that hadn’t, thankfully, been damaged.

With his clothes back in place he felt a bit better. Sighing, he steeled himself to come face-to-face with his apparent care-giver for the night.

They weren’t hard to find. A tall, lean brunette stood at the stove, his back to Shinn. Shinn froze as he turned, and purple eyes locked onto red.

Kira Yamato, ZAFT white-coat, smiled awkwardly at him. From a kitchen. Wearing sweatpants. 

“Hey, good to see you’re finally up,” his voice was as gentle and warming as it had been in the bedroom earlier, and Shinn found himself choking down an embarrassed groan. Cautiously, he made his way toward the kitchen counter and sat on one of the stools.

“How did I …,” he trailed off, coughing to try and get the gravel out of his voice.

“Athrun called me last night,” Kira supplied, tossing the pancake he was cooking and catching it with ease. “He was still pretty sober, but not enough to drive you all home. So, he called me.” Kira shrugged, nonchalant. As if Athrun calling him while on the piss was a normal thing. Shinn grunted.

“Right,” he mumbled, then looked up again at the older brunette. “So, how’d I end up here? I mean, this  _ is _ your place, right?” He laughed. Kira Yamato actually  _ laughed. _ His whole face lit up with it, and Shinn had to look away, feeling his cheeks flush with heat.

“You were a bit out of it. We kept asking where you were living, but nobody could get a clear answer out of you,” Kira chuckled, shaking his head as he flipped the pancake onto a plated stack by his elbow. More batter into the pan. Kira kept his eyes on what was apparently breakfast, watching the batter slowly start to bubble on top. “I uh, I have a spare bed here, so I figured it’d be fine.” The smile Kira tossed over his shoulder had Shinn’s heart skipping beats. It was such an easy, beatific gesture. Did he just give those things out to anyone? “I wasn’t expecting you to strip down to nothing and literally drop into my bed instead of the spare, though.”

If anything, Shinn was even  _ more _ glad he hadn’t thrown up on the bedspread. Kira’s teasing comment had him feeling fire in his face. Since when did Yamato spit sarcasm? He reached up to scratch a non-existent itch at the back of his neck while Kira plated up the last pancake. He brought them to the breakfast bar with an excessive amount of fixings. Jam, syrup, cream, butter, and cut goddamn strawberries. There was even a tub of ice-cream. Shinn thanked him quietly, and tucked into what was sure to be the weirdest meal of his life.

“So,” Shinn began, breaking their oddly comfortable silence. He felt like an awkward teenager again, trying to force words out through his awkward fumblings. Kira glanced up, and hummed questioningly through a mouthful of food. Shinn tried and failed to ignore how endearing it was, and turned his attention back to his own pancakes.

“I, um, didn’t do anything  _ weird _ , did I? I mean, I barely remember anything from last night. So, I, uh …,”he glanced back up at Kira only to find that  _ smile _ on his face again, the one that made his pulse jump. He felt his ears burning. Kira’s smile tipped up ever so slightly.

“You mean other than spending it in my bed?” The teasing tone was back, and it had Shinn groaning and trying to hide his face in his pancakes. Kira laughed.

“Just ‘cause you’re my superior officer now doesn’t mean you can rag on me like this,” Shinn grouched, glaring at his pancakes. Kira’s laughter became a quiet chuckling, before dissipating altogether, though his smile remained to torture Shinn some more. What the hell was going on? 

“Well, don’t make it so easy and I might not tease you so much.” Shinn groaned again, head thumping onto the counter. He could just see Kira out of the corner of his eye. His eyes crinkled a little around the edges, when he laughed. Shinn needed to stop noticing. 

Once they’d both calmed down, they finished their meal in relative silence. They made … small talk, of all things. Kira asked how Shinn had been doing since they last met, and Shinn clumsily offered the same inquiry. Shinn thought he’d settled down quite a lot since the end of the second war. He’d come to terms with a lot since then, and he’d put to rest a lot of his hatred. The pain wasn’t as sharp as it used to be. The realisation had stunned him at the time, when he’d found himself thinking forward and not back to harder times. He was calmer, just a little bit. It hadn’t gone unnoticed. 

He’d been one of the veterans selected after the second war to help Chairwoman Clyne in her campaign for peace between Earth and the PLANTs. This peace had been as tentative as the first so far, especially with Januarius and December still being so fresh in everyone’s minds, even five years after Djibril ordered the attack meant to destroy Aprilius. No one wanted another tragedy of that kind of scale. Nobody wanted another war.

In the aftermath of the fighting, he’d been adrift. There was nothing for soldiers to do, when the war was over. Finding his place had been difficult, to say the least. With the crew of the Minerva all going their separate ways, or  _ mostly _ , he’d somehow been reassigned to the Joule team. He’d been with them since then, running reconnaissance and surveillance, and stuck on guard duty assignments, whenever Chairwoman Clyne requested their team. Which was less often than expected. 

After five years, the peace was finally starting to settle in. There were no oppressive regimes, no extremist groups calling for another war. More importantly, as far as they knew, there were no military splinter groups plotting terror. No one to drop the remains of Januarius or December on Earth, for example. They hoped. 

After their admittedly delicious meal, Kira offered to drive Shinn home. The drive was as companionably quiet as the rest of breakfast had been. Shinn found himself slowly relaxing around the older pilot, but he was unable to help himself, looking over at Kira from time to time. He was a little baffled, honestly. He couldn’t quite work out why Kira Yamato, of all people, would help someone like him without a second thought. After everything they’d been through. The words spoken between them on that sunlit afternoon still remained. A promise to strive for peace, to fight for it sealed with the clasp of their hands and falling tears. But they hadn’t exactly gotten close, despite working in each other’s periphery. Kira Yamato was a difficult guy to understand, maybe now even more so than before. 

As he stood by the entrance to his building, he felt that he wouldn’t see Kira Yamato again for a long, long time. Shinn wasn’t sure he liked that thought, but couldn’t work out  _ why _ .

Fate, as always, had other plans for him, it seemed.


	2. Chapter Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Memories, angst, anger, oh my!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Raichu: Hey everyone, it's been a while!
> 
> So, let me make this clear from the get: this is NOT the final version of this chapter. Cain and I still have some final edits to make, but I feel happy enough with the current version to share it with you all, and I'll update the current chapter once the final edits have been made. 
> 
> So, for now, please enjoy what we have ready for you, because I know you all have been waiting eagerly for an update from us, and we're more than happy to provide!
> 
> See you all next update!

Shinn breathed in the smell of sea salt and sand, and let it linger in his lungs before exhaling.

He  _ hated _ being back on Earth, but this was an anniversary he couldn’t allow himself to miss. He’d been back every year, since the war was over. Just because he was hurting a little didn’t mean he wouldn’t come back.

Athrun had to return to his duties back in ORB, and since it was that time of the year Shinn had caught a shuttle down to Earth with the admiral. 

The memorial stone was starting to look a little worn around the edges. Exposed out here in the elements, it was starting to crust over with salt on the back and sides. It was as lonely as ever, set apart from the hillside garden they’d built up on the rise. Shinn understood the gesture, he really did. It was a memorial, and covering the place in flowers was meant to be some sort of statement about peace and fragility and how we just have to keep trying to make it grow ( -  _ the flowers are starting to bloom. Unfortunately, they’re going to wither in the spray from the breaking waves - ),  _ but it still rankled. People died here.  _ His _ people died here. It didn’t get any easier because people planted a few daisies. 

As he stood there, he couldn’t help but think back to a month after the end of the war.

To the first time he met Kira Yamato, one short month after the end of the war.

To the time when he was still with Luna, when he’d thought they were happy together.

Now Shinn just felt numb to the pain of the past. After all, there was even more pain for him to focus on.

His brain flashed back to tiny shreds of white paper napkin, and teary indigo eyes. Shinn grunted, and screwed his own eyes tight shut. He didn’t want to be thinking about  _ her _ , especially right now. This was the only place where he could come to pay respects to his family, and now it seemed that he couldn’t even do  _ that _ without thinking about the way that things had ended. 

Then his brain circled back to vibrant, violet eyes. Smiling as they had laughed over pancakes, crinkling up a little at the corners. 

Shinn could feel a blush burning his cheeks. 

Why the hell was he so stuck on those  _ goddamn _ purple eyes?

He grimaced, crouched to place the bouquet he’d brought with him, and left after a few more moments spent praying for his family’s restful peace. Then he turned and headed for where he’d parked his car on the highway. 

*

Athrun paid for their coffees, and they sat in a corner of the small coffee shop while they waited. The older man had shed his military garb for the day, dressed down in simple jeans, shirt and jacket for the cooler weather for the time of year.

Shinn slumped into his seat, and could feel green eyes scrutinising him.

“So,” Athrun sighed, pushing his hair back from his face with a hand. “What’s up?”

Shinn looked up at Athrun, shrugging his shoulders dismissively. “Nothing’s up. Why do you wanna know anyway?”

Athrun grimaced. Before he could say anything more, the waitress had brought their drinks. Shinn snagged his mug gratefully, glad for the distraction. Once Athrun had taken a sip of his drink, he put his own mug down to lace his fingers together under his chin.

“Only because Rin’s been telling me that her sister has barely left her flat in the ZAFT residence halls in  _ weeks _ now.”

Shinn scoffed. “Oh,  _ she _ hasn’t left her room? At least she’s doing the world a favour, then.” His anger tasted bitter on his own tongue, so he reached for his coffee again, hoping to disguise the ugly taste of his pain.

Athrun levelled a look at the young red coat, and shook his head ruefully. “You don’t really mean that, do you Shinn? You guys had something good going on for a while there.”

Shinn bristled, glaring up into green eyes. “Yeah, and then she had to go and throw it all the fuck away, like it was nothing!” He could feel the burn of tears in his eyes and he hated it as much as he hated how things had ended. How  _ she _ had decided to end things.  _ When _ she had decided to end things.

Athrun’s face softened, and Shinn hated things even more now, because  _ fucking Hell _ if he didn’t want anybody’s sympathy. He was  _ fine _ . Luna could go fuck herself and he was  _ fine _ .

As long as he kept telling himself he was fine, anyway. Besides, the last thing he wanted  _ her _ to be hearing was about how he  _ wasn’t _ fine. She didn’t deserve to know anything about his life, now that she’d decided not to be part of it anymore. 

So as far as anyone else needed to know, he was completely recovered from  _ that _ situation, thank you very fuckin’ much. 

“Shinn,” Athurn murmured, “you know that it’s alright to still be mad and upset about things, right? Sure, you guys had a great relationship, but sometimes relationships end, and it’s okay to be hurt. Especially since I’m pretty sure that Luna didn’t intend to hurt you like she did with the timing of things. That’s probably what has her so upset as she is.” Shinn scoffed, looked away from Athrun and out the front windows of the cafe, watching the people outside as they walked past.

“What matters,” Athrun added, which made Shinn grunt in confusion and look back at the veteran, who smiled at him? What? “what matters is how you get past the pain, and how you continue with things moving forward.”

Shinn mumbled a non-committal sound and looked away again, losing himself to his thoughts for a while. The silence between the two men was a little awkward from Shinn’s earlier outburst, but not entirely uncomfortable.

Somehow though, it was exactly what Shinn didn’t know he needed.

*

Three weeks later found Shinn rushing his way through the labyrinth of hallways between the council chambers and military offices in Aprilius, finger combing his hair and buttoning his collar as he got closer to the office door he was looking for. He stopped at an intersection, panting for breath, and held up the officially printed letter in his hand, reading the directions hand -written on the bottom of the page. 

Onogoro had been painful this year, a little more so than it had been the past couple of years. Luna had been a support for him for so long that to have that support ripped away just before his annual visit had left him raw. 

He was still feeling raw from everything, if he was being honest with himself. Not that he was ready to share that information with anyone. 

Once he had his breath back and had worked out where he was, he continued on until he found the door he needed, taking a moment to straighten his uniform and fix his hair as best he could before he knocked and stepped into the room after he heard a muffled  _ ‘come in’ _ from the other side of the door.

Why was he so  _ nervous _ ? He couldn’t remember ever feeling this unsure of himself before now, least of all during the second war. Now, he was shaken, breathless, and he couldn’t explain the  _ why _ of it to himself. It was confusing, being so worked up over  _ nothing _ . He could feel his face warm in a blush when he met his superior’s eye, and quickly tucked his chin down while he waited furiously for his cheeks to cool..

Kira Yamato looked  _ good _ in his ZAFT uniform. The brief glimpse he’d had before dropping his eyes to the floor left Shinn resisting the urge to tug uncomfortably at his tightly buttoned collar. Instead, he straightened back up and saluted, which Kira returned before urging him further into the room, into the seat across from Kira’s desk.

“You got the letter then,” Kira asked him. Shinn nodded, and Kira sighed, scrubbing a hand through his hair. He looked up at Shinn from under the hand he’d propped his head up on, a rueful glimmer in his eye and a smile on his lips that had Shinn’s heart doing that weird skipping a beat thing, and his stomach fluttering. “Trouble is, I’ve never been much good at giving orders, in an official capacity, anyway.” Kira shook his head and straightened back up. 

“It is what it is, though. I have my orders so I have to give you yours in turn.”

Shinn looked at Kira with confusion.

“But sir, I’m on the Joule team now. Shouldn’t I be getting my orders from Commander Joule,” Shinn wasn’t meaning to be insubordinate, so tried to make an effort not to sound as such. He was genuinely curious as to why he was getting orders from Kira, instead of his usual superior officers.

Kira chuckled, and Shinn found himself blushing again, embarrassed.

“Sorry,” he exclaimed, nervously. “I, uh, I wasn’t trying to –,” Shinn swallowed back the rest when Kira shook his head, still smiling at Shinn.

“It’s fine,” Kira conceded. “To be honest, I’m as confused as you are.” Kira sighed as he shuffled some papers on his desk around, until he found what he was looking for.

“Okay,” Kira cleared his throat, and Shinn straightened in his seat. “ By order of Supreme Commander Waltfeld, the following officers are to escort and assist Chairwoman Clyne during her upcoming voyage to Earth. They are to act on her behalf as bodyguards, escorts, and envoys during this mission, in order to maintain peace between Earth and the PLANTs.

“All members of the Joule team, including white-coat Yzak Joule, green-coat Dearka Elsman, and red-coat officers Athrun Zala and Shinn Asuka are to be led under the command of white-coat Kira Yamato for the duration of this mission, and are to obey his orders regarding Ms Clyne’s personal safety at all times. 

“Meanwhile, a back-up team, led by Shiho Hahnenfuss, are to board the newly completed Olympia class ship, the  _ Athena _ , and assist Commander Yamato and the Joule team on the ground. They are also to provide a safe retreat for the Chairwoman Clyne and the team guarding her, should the need arise.

These orders are absolute and have not been completed until Chairwoman Clyne has returned safely to the PLANTs.”

Shinn nodded thoughtfully once Kira had finished reading the official letter from commander Waltfeld.

“I get it now,” Shinn murmured. “You’re giving me my orders because you’re the commander for this mission.” Kira chuckled, and nodded, a blush dusting his cheeks that had Shinn pausing, awe-struck.

“Uh, yeah. Guess you could say that.” Kira’s teasing tone had Shinn scowling at him in a semblance of petulance, before he sighed, his shoulders slumping. 

“So, when do we leave, sir?”

“This time next week,” Kira affirmed, glancing down at the bottom of the letter to be sure. Shinn nodded again, humming an affirmative noise.

“Will that be all for now, sir?”

Shinn was trying  _ very _ hard not to be dazzled by Kira’s smile for the umpteenth time today.

“Sure, unless you wanted to ask about anything, that’s all there is to it for now.” Kira stood with Shinn this time, matched him salute for salute, then rounded the desk and opened the door for Shinn, which left him blushing on the outside again, and left him a quivering mess of nerves on the inside.

“I’ll see you later, then, sir,” Shinn murmured. Their shoulders brushed on his way out the door, and Shinn was glad he wasn’t looking Kira in the eye just then, otherwise he would’ve turned a brighter shade of red than his uniform, he was sure.

“Yeah, later,” Kira murmured, before closing his office door. Silence reigned around Shinn for a moment, and he slumped against the nearest wall.

“Holy shit,” he whispered to himself, dropping his gaze to the floor. He pressed a fist to his mouth, his eyes moving back and forth, as if analysing a piece of text that wasn’t there.

His relationship with Luna had never felt this intense. It had been slow and easy with them. This was happening so fast it was making Shinn’s head spin. Then there was the fact that he was pretty sure that this thing, whatever it was that he was feeling for Kira Yamato, would stay largely one-sided.

As far as Shinn knew, Kira hadn’t been in a relationship since he and Lacus called it quits shortly after they returned to the PLANTs to take up their current roles of leadership here in Aprilius. As veterans of both wars, and fierce fighters for the sake of peace between Naturals and Coordinators, both Kira and Lacus had decided it was better that their relationship remain platonic, for the sake of the peace efforts they were pushing so hard to create and maintain at the time. 

Besides that, Shinn didn’t even know that he  _ liked _ men like that. He was pretty sure he’d never had a crush on a guy before, anyway. Hell. he’d barely even had time to crush on Luna before they’d fallen into their relationship.

He thunked his head against the wall, before finally making his way down the hallways again, intent on heading back to his apartment. He needed to cool off.

Shinn also needed to work out how he was going to deal with the confusing feelings swirling around in his head, because from the sound of things, he was about to spend a  _ lot _ of time in close proximity with Kira. He needed to work out  _ why  _ every time he was around Kira, he turned into an idiot teenager again.

“This is gonna suck balls,” Shinn grumbled to himself as he made his slow way toward the building’s exit, yanking his collar open again so that he felt like he could  _ breathe _ .

*

“Are we in agreement, then?”

“Yes, they’ve just announced their plans to come to Earth, and we know they’ll be gathered together at the shuttle port before they depart.”

“Alright, then boys. Let’s put our plan into motion. For the preservation of our blue and pure world.”

“For the preservation of our blue and pure world!”


End file.
